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I Choose to Trust

Devotional for Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

– Proverbs 3:5

As a follower of Christ, I have often said I trust God. Yet, it was when the rubber met the road that I realized how very little I trusted Him. During these past few months, I have wrestled with the Lord. I have worried. I have toiled. I have been in a whirl. Peace has been beyond my grasp and joy lost beneath the weight of circumstance.

Almost five years ago, our office on a nearby military installation was placed on the Base Realignment and Closure list. Our local management aggressively explored options to keep the office personnel in tact and onsite; several of those options appeared promising. At the same time, upper management was moving forward to relocate our workload and personnel to their location in another state. An ugly battle ensued and life at work became a rollercoaster of emotions. One day things appeared optimistic; the next it was doom and gloom. Finally, in early January, the remaining potential lifeboat sank and the victory was conceded to upper management.

It was then that I came face to face with my giant: fear. Fear is ugly and consuming. Fear whispered in my ear that the Lord might ask me to leave everything familiar in my life: my family, friends, home, church and job. Fear taunted me as upper management dictated transition plans and the timelines were well in advance of what I expected. Fear shouted, “Quick, do something!” Thus began my exercise of futile verbs: fretting, striving and spinning myself into a useless mess. I wrestled with the Lord about the potential move, which is way out of the perimeters of my comfort zone. I reminded Him of how, years before, when I went through a heart-wrenching divorce and found myself alone, He had put people in my path to encourage me and love me. He had placed me in my home where I felt physically safe and led me to a church home where I was embraced and nurtured. Surely He remembered that after a childhood of moving around the country, I had finally put down roots, felt established and secure. Yet now, the reality of moving – alone – to a new place was imminent and threatening. Even my own written words from a few months before, counting the Ebenezer stones of God’s faithfulness in my life, seemed to mock me. Fear made me question my faith. Did I really believe God was who He said He was? Did I really think God had a good plan for my life? Did I really trust Him?

Those questions challenged me and I began to do some intense soul searching. Why is it that I firmly – and without question – trust the Lord for my eternal salvation, yet could not seem to trust Him when it came to my job situation? What did it really mean to trust God? Webster defines trust as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Not by coincidence, my current reading assignment for a systematic theology study was on the character of God and His attributes. He is omniscient; He knows all things, what has happened and what will happen. He is omnipotent; He is all powerful and sovereign. His moral attributes include goodness, love, mercy, grace, patience, holiness and peace. As I worked through the lesson, I realized my perception of trust has been based on my personal experiences and disappointments. I had to resolve in my mind that because God is all-knowing of things past, present and future, that He has already accomplished what concerns me (Psalm 138:8). He is all powerful and nothing - absolutely nothing - is beyond His authority or ability (Luke 1:37). I paid particular attention to the attributes of love and peace. While I know God loves me, I struggled to truly accept as truth that I am His chosen, His beloved and He rejoices and sings over me (Isaiah 62:5 and Zephaniah 3:17). God’s actions are characterized by peace, not confusion. Peace is not just an absence of conflict, but it is also the absence of striving, worry, anxiety and dread (2 Thessalonians 3:16). The more I read the Bible, the more evident it is that the Lord is indeed reliable and trustworthy; His character and attributes are proven good and faithful.

Recognizing that fear is the opposite of trust, I had a choice to make. Was I going to continue living in bondage to these all-consuming, peace-stealing, joy-snatching, giant-making fears or was I going to trust my all-knowing, peace-giving, joy-restoring, giant-slaying Eternal King?

While I still do not know what will happen in my job situation, I can confidently and quietly wait for Him to reveal His good plan (Jeremiah 29:11). I must focus solely on God and His faithfulness, not my circumstance. Even if the Lord does ask me to leave everything familiar, I am assured that He is the same faithful and ever-present God no matter where I am (Joshua 1:9).

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, How grateful I am that I no longer have to battle the giant of fear or cower in the face of uncertainty. I can be strong and courageous because you have promised to be with me always. I know you are actively working out the details of my life to accomplish your good purpose and will reveal your plans when your timing is perfect. Until then, I can be still and know that you are my awesome and faithful God.

Sharon Reynolds