Text:  2 Corinthians 4:14-21

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A phone call can change your life.

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I still remember the phone call. From an extended cousin named Eric. He called our house when I was about 15 years old. I remember thinking this was odd, because he never called our house. Didn’t even think he had our number. He wanted to speak to my mom. She wasn’t there. So, he called again.

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This time my mom was home.

She went back to her bedroom to talk on the phone, and came out 2 or 3 minutes later. Crying.

She called us together. My biological father was dead. We would later find out from a drug overdose.

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There is a lot more to the story than just that moment. There is the fact that my parents were divorced when I was 5. The fact that for a couple of years my mom raised myself and my two siblings with strength as a single mom. The fact that my mom would later re-marry, and my step-dad would later adopt me. I was not born with the last name Hunter. The fact that I would continue to see my biological father up until the year of his death. The way that even now I deeply love him, but regret the mostly absent nature of his fathering. There is a lot to my Dad story. And a lot of healing, and a lot of grace, and a lot of ways that it has shaped me.

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But the point is, we all have a Dad story. Some of you have or had great fathers that shaped you into the men that you are.

Others - it’s complicated.

Others - you are deeply praying for your dad's salvation.

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Many guys, even young adult men have lost their dad. We all have a Dad story. But greater than that our culture and our world is haunted by the absence of Fathers. I call it haunted, because when you don’t have a dad, or when you do but he is not there in the capacity you want it feels like a haunting. You feel that they are close, hope for things to get better, but they are not quite there. And this is an epidemic.

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There are many epidemics in the world around us. Even in our community.

• Screen addiction

• Fetanayl

• Obesity

• Etc.

But chief among them, and something that honestly affects so many other things is the epidemic of fatherlessness.

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The problem of Fatherlessness

Children with absent fathers:

• Account for 63 percent of youth suicides

•  90 percent of homeless and runaway children

•  85 percent of children who exhibit behavioral disorders

•  71 percent of high school dropouts

•  85 percent of youths sitting in prison

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From  Nancy Pearcey: the Toxic War on Masculinity

“It is the children of divorce who taught us very early that to be separated from their father was intolerable. The poignancy of their reactions is astounding… They cry for their daddies - be they good, bad, or indifferent daddies. I have been deeply struck by the distress children of every age suffer at losing their fathers.” - Psychologist Judith Wallerstein

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“Kids have a hole in their soul in the shape of their dad. And if a father is unwilling or unable to fill that hole, it can leave a wound that is not easily healed.” - Roland Warren, former president of the National Fatherhood Initiative

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One of the greatest leading indicators of the success or failure of a child in life is their relationship with their father. Anybody think we as the church, the men of the church should play a role in this? I mean central to our theology is that there is a perfect Father, who sent His perfect son, to die for us, so that we could be sons of the perfect Father.Fatherhood is like at the bulls-eye of the gospel itself.

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So, what could the church’s response be?

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1. Pray, pray, pray to the heavenly Father

2. Promote a robust theology of Life

3. Preach on manhood and true masculinity

4. Prepare young men to be husbands and fathers

5. Protect the home through flourishing marriages

6. Pursue youth without dads intentionally

7. Provide for and support single moms

8. Prioritize foster and adoption

9. Pour into the fatherlessness youth through mentorship

10. Partner with non-profits making a difference

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I want to situate you and your calling in the larger calling we can have to make a difference in fatherlessness. This will take a strategic, multi-faceted operation from land, sky, and sea if you want to use that language. But really for just a couple minutes, I want to focus on number 3-5.

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What does it mean to be a Father?

Look to 2 Corinthians 4. I will focus on vv.14-21

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What is at the essence of masculine, christ-centered, christian fatherhood?

The kind of fathers who change the world. The kind of fathers who build healthy things for the fatherless to come home to.

David D. Gilmore popularized what is known as the 3 P’s of manhood.

Pro-create. Provide. Protect.

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It is actually a really good summary. I like it alot.

But we do not want to be made in the image of David D. Gilmore, we want to be made in the image of Jesus. And those three things correlate on a physical level to three offices that Jesus fulfils on a spiritual level. I believe Fathers are physical flesh and blood that exist to create the miracle of life, and provide for the needs of their family, and to protect. But I also believe they are the spiritual head of their families. Prophet, priest, and king. And I also believe that becoming a father is the call of every man, even those without biological kids. For example, Paul is writing here referring to himself as a Father, and we know that he was unmarried. We also know from a lot of research that men acting as father substitutes go a long, long way towards helping those with father wounds or father absence.

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1. Pro-create: Prophet (vv.14-15)‍

“I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” The first thing a father does is pro-create. This is to create off-spring. The biblical word if you get stuck in a genealogy is “beget.” This is the physical definition of a father. And this is good and blessed by God. From the beginning of scripture.
But notice the spiritual component to this in this text. This happens by taking on Christ’s example and role of a prophet in your home.

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Notice what Paul says. He is writing to a Corinthian church who is acting wild. He is having to put them in line. Notice what he says - "I am not writing these things to shame you but to admonish you…."

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“As my beloved children” Basically...  "Dads home!!"

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And then notice the next line - “you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many Fathers.” Woah. what a line. This is true today.

Many podcasts you listen to.  Not many fathers.

Many preachers you admire.  Not many fathers.

Many people who will point out what do do from afar.  Not many fathers.

Many who will say what you want to hear because it benefits them.  Not many fathers.

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Paul says, look I am your spiritual father, and because of that I care for you in a deeper way, and that means that I am going to use my words to admonish you, to correct you when needed, to encourage you, to call you into more. Because this is what a dad does.

There is a prophetic role to fatherhood.

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Notice the basis of Paul’s fatherhood to this church in v. 15 - “I became your father through Jesus Christ in the gospel.” Meaning he went and preached and the miracle of salvation happened. Spiritual procreation happened through the words, and now there is an ongoing prophetic role from a father to a child. A father brings life by the words he speaks over his children.

Men, your words matter!! Yes to point your kids to Jesus, but also to speak life. To call into more. To use your words. (not grunts) Not to complain and to give attitude or to yell at a TV screen, but to passionately speak life to your children.

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2. Provide: Priest (vv.16-17)

‍“I urge you, then, to be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church.” Notice, for providing, that Paul as a spiritual father is providing for the church here. Teaching them, sending to them Timothy, wanting to see them progress and grow. You aren’t called to just feed your family with physical bread. You are called to feed them with spiritual food. A father brings health by the prayer and preparation he provides. Father’s need to be at the front when it comes to the priestly duties. Dad’s let me press in here. We could use more of you. And I get it you are busy and tired and exhausted. But when something like a renewal event happens, gentlemen you need to be there. It’s not just about marking attendance, or showing up. It’s that you are a priest.

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You are called to provide. Spiritually.

When renewal events happens, we need fathers there.

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3. Protect: King (vv.18-21)

“Some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talks of these arrogant people but their power. For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power. What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness.” A good dad has a little edge to him. He invokes a little bit of fear. A father brings security through the boundaries he sets up, and the protection he gives.

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Protect. What goes on in the screens. Who your kids spend time with. Whose house they sleep over. What theology they are hearing. What your daughter is wearing. I mean being a King isn’t easy. It isn’t just being an ATM dispenser it is setting up some things. And sometimes it is with a rod, and sometimes it is with a spirit of gentleness.

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There are all sorts of harmful shadow sides to this.
Nancy Pearcey shows us the harmful journey towards where we are with dads:

• “Mind your mother” primarily a breadwinner/enforcer

• “From patriarch to pal” primarily someone who shares recreation.

• “Disneyland Dads” primarily a dad who exists to cover the extras.

• “Father knows least” basically an incompetent bumbler

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Big Idea: Churches and homes are healthiest when fathers are physically and spiritually present.

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Start now. Men, we are blessed at Olive with a church full of spiritual fathers. I've talked to Pastor Traylor many times about this. The strength of this church is the men. But, the second that we kind of sit back and go, wow we have done it... we need Revival.

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There is work to do.

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In the name of Jesus, may Olive Baptist Church be a place where fathers are born, built, and sent into battle. In the name of Jesus, may Olive Baptist Church be a place where the fatherless are found, fed, and formed.

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Let’s take the hill together, men.

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